This year in my selfcare journey to prioritize myself, several of my goals are to get myself something nice…nice jeans, a great swimsuit, a beautiful handbag, a wardrobe I love. When looking over my list, I thought it seem may seem a bit materialistic but this isn’t about being materialistic or collecting things to make me feel better. Nope. Its more about getting rid of the things that don’t bring me joy and making room to have less things that bring me more joy. And I am really beginning to arrive at the conclusion that having nice things is a part of selfcare.
You see, there are a lot of things that I have collected over the years that are just taking up space. All the handbags I never use, the swimsuits I hate wearing and the jeans that are completely uncomfortable or no longer fit. Not to mention the corner of my closet that is specifically reserved for all the size 4s, 6s and smalls that I wore prior to having children… 8 YEARS AGO! Why the hell am I keeping all this stuff???
I have noticed the trend of minimalism popping up across social media over the last couple of years and I can’t say that I have had any interest in this so called “movement.” It seems like another one of those ridiculous ideas that is out of reach for most people especially those of us with kids. But as I am slowly beginning to shed the stuff I no longer need or want and buy the nice things on my list, I am starting to get this whole minimalist concept. This is about prioritizing what I find valuable. Wearing things that make me feel shitty and uncomfortable in my body because I don’t have the body I think I should have is no longer a part of my values.
The first thing I did was invest in a nice swimsuit for myself that made me want to strut my stuff on the beach even if it was a size 10.
And after I did, I went home a pulled about 4 of my old “I refuse to buy a nice suit because I am fat” suits and 3 “I know I will never fit into these again but I am keeping them anyway” suits and tossed them in a bag and it felt damn good.
After getting a taste of the good stuff, I decided to go ahead and buy myself the “Blanche Devereaux” robe I have always wanted but thought a lady with kids shouldn’t have. So I bought a
beautiful silk kimono that I put on every morning and night and it makes me feel like a new woman and not the breastmilk stained, tshirt and granny panties wearing, over tired mom I often feel like.
And for those of you wondering, Blanche Deveraux is a character on the hilarious show Golden Girls about 4 women in their “Golden Years.” She wore beautiful, full length silk robes and shall we say “owned” her sexuality. And if you have never watched the Golden Girls…you are welcome for the recommendation.
Now every time I go into my closet and spot something I don’t love, I grab it off the hanger or out of my drawer and toss it in the giveaway corner. That pile has shirts that don’t look good on me, pants that won’t stay up, dresses that I constantly tug on and things I have never even worn because I bought them too small to begin with. I am done with withholding things from myself and here are 3 reasons why having nice things is now a part of my selfcare…
Not having nice things is a form of punishment….If I am not the size I want to be, I shouldn’t have nice clothes. If I am not the mom I should be, I can’t have nice things. It’s neglectful and I would even go so far as to say abusive. I would never do it to my children and I shouldn’t be doing it to myself.
In the practice of intentional selfcare, one action leads to another. It’s a positive domino effect…the more things I feel good about the more I want to do to sustain that feeling. Nice things that I value make me want to do more nice things for myself like workout and eat right.
It just feels good. No matter what point I am at in my life or what goals I have or haven’t accomplished, I have the right to feel good. And no one including myself has the right to deprive me of that.
So, I will be buying myself all the nice things on my
40 Ways To Prioritize Me list with no guilt and I will be getting rid of all the things that take away from my selfcare and do not add to my joy.
You can click
my affiliate link to purchase your own Kim and Ono Robe from Amazon. I get a small fee for your purchase but I promise you pure luxury in exchange.
Elisha Beach is a stay-at-home mom to four kids and four step-kids…Yes, you read that right—eight kids. She is a wife, home cook, taxi driver, herder of children, terrible housekeeper and founder of The Mom Forum. This blog is part of the Prioritize Me blog series documenting Elisha’s journey in selfcare and putting herself first.
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