Have you ever thought about practicing selfcare as if you are dating yourself? So in other words, when practicing selfcare, treat yourself like you would treat someone you are dating. And I know some of you mommas are probably are way out of practice of not only dating but prioritizing yourself. So here is how you can practice selfcare like dating.
Set aside a specific time and stick to it. Because if you are dating someone, you schedule time for dates, you make time for phone calls, you take the time out to send them a cute message during the day, and you stick to that. You don’t cancel on the last minute and say, “Oh, I don’t have time” and then not reschedule for another time. Treat yourself like you would someone you’re dating and make your selfcare time a priority. Stop standing yourself up and putting everything and everyone else first.
Focus on you. Usually when dating someone, it is important to focus on the person that you are spending the time with and in this case that person is you. Don’t put a face mask on and then walk around the house cleaning up, straightening up, fussing about your kids room being a mess, taking out things for dinner, meal planning, making the lunches while your face mask is on. Don’t do that. Because what you’re doing is you’re actually taking away from the time that you’re giving yourself to recuperate, recalibrate, take breaths, and relax. You’re not actually giving yourself focused time.
That face mask or whatever you are doing just becomes another thing on your to-do list and not actually real quality time that you’re investing in yourself. Stop multitasking because it does not serve you in practicing your self care. You will end up not not getting the time that you need, the healing that you need, the moment that you need for yourself if you are doing 50 other things while you’re practicing selfcare.
And last but definitely not least… Don’t spend this special time for you beating yourself up for taking that time. Don’t go through the list of all the other things you should be doing. And tell the mom guilt to kiss your ass because you should not ever feel guilty for prioritizing yourself. Because often, you are probably beating yourself up in your head and telling yourself how terrible it is that you’re not spending this time with your kids, or your partner or spouse, or thinking about how the house is a mess. Treat yourself with love and respect.
Would you ever admonish some you are dating or a friend for taking time for themself? I don’t know about you, but that is not somebody I want to spend time with. So let’s stop doing that to ourselves. Let’s speak to ourselves kindly. Let’s respect ourselves and treat ourselves with love. Because that’s what everyone wants and deserves. And we have to start doing that for ourselves.
So set aside time for for yourself. Focus on yourself during that time, and speak to yourself with love, kindness and respect so that you can enjoy that time. Stop beating yourself up or telling yourself how terrible of a mother you are for actually taking the time out for you that you need. I hope that you will start practicing these little things and looking at yourself as someone that you should be prioritizing. Can start to make those little shifts in how you approach your self-care practice? And don’t beat yourself up when you mess up on one of them. Just take note and try again. Just continuously work towards practicing in these three ways. And it will just ever so slightly shift your practice more and more and more. Because the biggest, biggest word you have to remember, it’s a practice. That means you need to just keep on keep on doing it and you will get better at treating yourself like some that deserves to be prioritized.
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