Practice self care as if you are dating someone, right? So in other words, treat yourself like you would treat someone you are dating. And I know some of us are like way out of practice and have not done that in a very long time and so we don’t really know what that means, or what we’re supposed to do exactly. I’m going to tell you right now. Number one: Set specific time aside. for that person – that would be you. Because if you are dating someone, you schedule time for dates, you make time for phone calls, you take the time out to send them a cute message during the day, and you stick to that. You don’t like schedule a date, and if you really like that person, you’re going to follow through. You don’t like cancel on the last minute and say, “Oh, I don’t have time” and then not reschedule and not make that time a priority. So, treat yourself like you would someone you’re dating and make yourself care time a priority – something that you schedule, you stick to you follow through on because you deserve that, right. So we’re going to stick to setting that time aside for ourselves, right? 

The next thing is, when you are spending that time, make sure that you are focused on that person – once again, that would be you. Focus on the person that you are spending the time with. Don’t put a face mask on and then walk around the house cleaning up, straightening up, fussing about your kids room being a mess, taking out things for dinner, meal planning, making the lunches while your face mask is on. Don’t do that. Because what you’re doing is you’re actually taking away from the time that you’re giving yourself to kind of recuperate, recalibrate, take breaths, relax. You’re not actually giving yourself that time so that that face mask just kind of becomes another thing on your to do list and not actually real quality time that you’re investing in yourself. So if you’re going to do that, go put a face mask on, and go sit in a corner and be quiet or read a book, but focus on you during that time – not the laundry, that is hanging out somewhere in the house, like this laundry here that’s been here for like, I don’t know, five days, who knows. I’m just… it’s inherent, it’s hiding from me. So that works for me. But focus on you. Focus on you during that time, so that you can actually have the time to give yourself the break that you need. Right? Stop multitasking. It does not serve you in practicing your self care. Okay? And you don’t actually get the time that you need, the healing that you need, the moment that you need if you are doing 50 other things while you’re practicing self care. 

 

 

Okay, so we’re setting aside the time, we’re focusing on ourselves during that time, and last, but absolutely not least, and often I think it is the hardest is in that time, we give ourselves love and respect, right? We treat ourselves with love and respect. You’re not beating yourself up for taking that time. You’re not telling yourself all the other things you should be doing during that time. You’re not guilting yourself for taking that time. And when it does come up, what would you say if someone you were dating was having a problem with something and they were feeling bad about themselves? Would you attack them? Would you beat them down with guilt? Would you tell them that they’re a terrible, awful person that they would even take this time away to spend with you? No, no, you would not do that. You would tell them all the great things and all the reasons why they should be doing what they’re doing. And even if they are on you, you would have grace for them. And you would, you know, treat them with love and respect. Because so many times, we are practicing self care, and we’re beating ourselves up in our head and telling ourselves how terrible it is that we’re not spending this time with our kids or our partner or our spouse or how the house is a mess and why are we taking this time. That is not somebody I want to spend time with. I don’t know about you. But if I was dating someone, and they were talking to me like that, I would not be seeing them again. So let’s stop doing that to ourselves. Let’s speak to ourselves kindly. Let’s respect ourselves and treat ourselves with love, right? Because that’s what everyone wants. And we have to start doing that for ourselves. So set aside time for that person, for yourself. Focus on yourself during that time, and speak to yourself with love, kindness and respect so that you can enjoy that time and not beat yourself up over it and tell yourself how terrible of a mother you are for actually taking the time out for you that you need. I hope that if you guys just start practicing those little things and looking at yourself as someone that you should be prioritizing, can just start to make those little daily shifts in how you approach your self-care practice. Right? Setting aside the time focusing on you during the time and treating yourself with kindness, love, and respect. Just three little things. And don’t beat yourself up when you mess up on one of them. Just start over again, the next time. Just take note. Man, I did not say to set aside time for myself this week. Okay. Next week, we’re going to do it on Sunday evening. Next week, I’m going to do it for 10 minutes every night. We’re not going to beat ourselves up. We’re just going to continuously work towards practicing in those three ways. And it will just ever so slightly shift your practice more and more and more. Because the biggest, biggest word you have to remember, it’s a practice. That means you need to just keep on keep on doing it. Right? Alright. I will see you next Sunday. After you have set aside some really great focus loving time for yourself this week. 

 

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