Selfcare Is Treating Our Bodies With Love And Respect

This has been a week. There are so many so many conversations going on about what we, we women can and can’t do with our bodies and what we shouldn’t shouldn’t do with our bodies and so many different opinions and perspectives. And I’m not gonna make this political because that is not what this is about. What I am going to say is the thing that women should and can be doing with their bodies, is treating your body with love and respect. And I say that for myself as well as you guys because how many times have you been looking at the mirror walking by the mirror after you’ve showered or while you’re getting dressed and you’ve caught a glimpse of your body, and you go, “Oh, God, that is disgusting.” I have. I have done it way more than I care to ever admit. And it’s not okay. It’s not okay. Why do we say that to ourselves? Why do I say that to myself? It is… it’s not nice. It’s not loving. I would never say such a thing to my husband or my children, and yet, I do that to myself way too often. 

I mean, how many pieces of clothing do you have in your closet that don’t fit, that you purchase the size too small because when you were going to go to that wedding or that high school reunion or whatever event, you were like, “Oh, no, because I’m going to lose this five or 10 pounds so let me get the size smaller.” And did you lose it? No. Could you wear that fabulous outfit that you got? No. Would you do that to your children? Would you buy them an outfit and then tell them they can’t wear it until they lost five or 10 pounds? Never. But we do this to ourselves all the time.

And we can just treat ourselves with so much more love and respect. I have actually stopped and said to myself in the mirror. It’s totally corny, but I don’t care. I’m sorry, but you are a beauty. You are beautiful from the inside out. And that’s what matters.

Do I have an extra 20 pounds that I’m carrying from life having children, getting older? Yes. Do I like it? Not really. Do I have extra saggy skin from my third pregnancy where I carried a child for 41 weeks? 41 weeks people. 41 weeks. Yes, I do. Do I like it? Not really. These boobs after breastfeeding three babies for two years each – they’re not what they used to be. Do I like it? No. But here’s the thing. I don’t have to like everything about my body to treat it with love and respect.


I don’t like everything about my husband, but I will always treat him with love and respect. I mean, I don’t really like my children all the time. Yep, I said that. But I will always approach them with love and respect. And we really, really, really really have to do that for ourselves. And I say that for me. You don’t have to be a mother to practice this. You don’t have to be a mom in order to love and appreciate the things that your body does for you even if you want to change some things about it. You can want to lose 20 pounds and still love yourself and love your body. You can still look in the mirror and go, “You are amazing. 20 pounds extra and all you are amazing today.” Just try it as embarrassing, as corny as it may be. Whenever you find yourself saying negative things about your body, the stretch marks on your thighs, the flabby belly that you have, the droopy boobs, stop yourself and say something positive instead. You are a badass.  You fed three children from your body, from your body. I did that. 

Whatever it is, you have managed to get up every day this week and still go to work even though you are dead tired. You go. It’s corny is stupid, but it’s better than allowing ourselves to berate ourselves and treat ourselves unkindly because we don’t look like we want to look, because we have extra pounds on, because our clothes are not making us feel fabulous. All we’re doing is compounding those feelings by treating ourselves so disrespectfully and with such a lack of love. I would never ever, ever do that to my kids, I would never speak to my kids in that way, I would never speak to my spouse in that way. I’m not gonna love him any less. Because he’s 10 years older, and 20 pounds more. All that we’ve been through, I love him more. May get on my nerves, but I’m not going to lack love or respect for him because of the physical changes that he’s been through. These physical changes come along with so much and I want to honor that about myself and I want you guys to honor that. And so, treat your body with love and respect. Treat yourself with love and respect. That does not mean you have to like everything. You can love and respect yourself and still want to change and grow. You can still want to lose those 20 pounds. You can still want to eat better. You can even still want to get your boobs fixed or get that saggy skin taken care of and still treat yourself with love and respect. Just because you want that done does not mean that you don’t love or respect yourself nor does it mean that you should treat yourself terribly because you are dealing with that in the moment. Don’t do that. Don’t do that. 

We thrive in environments where we feel loved and respected. Our bodies will thrive for us when it feels loved and respected. So I’m asking you, no matter what is going on in the world and all around us and what anyone is telling you you should or shouldn’t do with your body or what you can and can’t do with your body, you should and you can everyday treat your body with love and respect. 


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A post shared by Elisha Wilson Beach (@mylifeisabeach)

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