There’s a conversation that has been coming up a lot and I know it’s something that I have to deal with myself and that is finding time for selfcare versus making the time for selfcare. I hear it all the time, “I can’t find the time for selfcare. I don’t have the time for selfcare. Oh, it just doesn’t fit into my schedule.”
Yes, it does.
Stop waiting for the time for you to take care of yourself to fall into your lap because this is what I see all the time – and I was guilty of it too – we take care of everybody else and all the other things that need to be taken care of continually pushing ourselves to the end of the list because we don’t have the time. And then maybe, if we so happen to find the 1 hour or the few minutes that we can do something for ourselves, then, “Oh we found the time for selfcare! Now we’ll do a little something for ourselves.”
You cannot survive like that. You have to make the time for selfcare and make it a priority. Stop waiting for it to fall into your lap and then get frustrated because you “don’t have the time for selfcare.”
It’s not true. You have to be making the time for selfcare. You have to make yourself a priority and that looks like a lot of different things. You really should be looking at your day, being honest about how you’re using the time that you do have – that was the hard part for me – being very honest with yourself about how you’re actually spending your time and are you spending your time in a way that addresses not only your family’s needs but, your needs too.
Yes. Your needs too have got to be in that list because what happens is you keep addressing everybody else’s needs, you get drained, drained, drained, drained, drained, drained, drained because you haven’t done anything to fill yourself up and make sure that you are functioning at your best levels. And then, you end up sick, you end up stressed out, overwhelmed, your anxiety gets out of control, you spiral into a depression and then, you have to take a lot more downtime to help deal with whatever happens. You caught the flu because your immune system was all shut down because you weren’t getting enough sleep or eating properly. You had an anxiety attack because you’re stressed out or you spiral into a depression because you weren’t addressing the needs that you need to address if you are prone to depression and then you have to take a whole lot more downtime than you actually do have time for because you didn’t make the time for you.
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Am I right? How many people has that happened to? It happened to me. It happens.
And I’m not saying it’s not going to happen because we get tired and we’re running around and the flu slams our house and there’s nothing you can do about that. However, we have to – on a daily basis, on a regular basis – make time for our own needs. Make time to eat nutrient dense meals. Make time to get movement into our day. Make time in our schedule to get our wellness checkups. Ladies, make time to get those boobies checked because if we don’t, the things that we do not address can easily turn into much bigger problems because we didn’t have the time. And so now, the universe is, “Oh you’re gonna take the time and now I’m gonna make it a much bigger problem because you didn’t address it when I showed you the little problem that you had.”
Trust me. The universe will throw everything at you to get you to slow down. So stop trying to find the time in your day that haphazardly shows up and start making the time for the things that you need whether it’s that weekly therapy session that you need to go to make sure that you keep your anxiety or depression in check where you deal with the postpartum depression that has shown up or whatever it is that you are dealing with. Or your anger. Whatever it is.
Make sure you are eating those nutrient-dense meals so that – maybe you really don’t have time to do it at lunch, but at least you’re getting one in for dinner or breakfast so that your body is fed. Drinking that water throughout the day. Getting a workout in. Making that time a priority and putting it in your day. I don’t care if you have to write it down on your calendar. Put in your phone. Make the time for you and require that the people around you respect that time because it is going to save you in the long run and keep you from falling apart. Eventually, when you are just waiting for the time to show up for you, you will fall apart because you’re not taking care of yourself. And you deserve to make time for ourselves so stop trying to find the time to practice your selfcare.
Sit down, take an honest look at your schedule. What are you doing with your time and is it making the space for you to take care of yourself? And if not, where can you create the space to do the things that you need to do for yourself. I’m not talking huge chunks of time. Taking the little time that you need throughout your day. We’ve talked about this many many times over to care for yourself. Creating that plan and then maybe you can’t do it every day – address it to three days a week, get to that therapy session one time a week, one time a month. Whatever it is, make sure that you take the time to create the space in your schedules for you.
I can’t say that enough. Stop waiting for that time to fall in your lap because it’s not coming. And the minute that you think you have it, something will happen, the kids’ school will call that will ruin your time that you were supposed to go and do this. Something will always happen that will snatch that time right out of your hands. So make a plan. Make a plan for it.
I think I say this every week. Plan your selfcare. Make it a priority. All right?
Okay, mamas! Have a wonderful Sunday. Enjoy your week and sit down today and make a little plan for what you’re going to do for yourself for this week. Or if you have that doctor’s appointment you’ve been meaning to schedule, call on Monday and make those appointments. Set them up ahead of time so you know every birthday you go get your wellness check, every third Monday you go to therapy, every Valentine’s Day you go get these boobies checked. Whatever it is, do it. Make the plan. Make the time for you.