Self-nurturing is the practice of setting boundaries with others, sleeping well, eating well, exercising enough so that sleeping and eating fall in place, saying sweet nothings to yourself in a cruel world. Just imagine a loving mother and a best friend wrapped up into one and then being that to yourself. One of my favorite quotes by Eartha Kitt best sums the meaning:”I fall in love with myself, and I want someone to share it with me. And I want someone to share me, with me.” She is the undisputed original self-love diva!
I quote her a lot. Mostly because she reminds me of my mother who passed 20 years ago. She also is a recognizable woman who broke so many barriers at a time when women were treated as less. She, Elizabeth Taylor and Josephine Baker all are stellar examples of self-nurturing. They did not let the patriarchal society swallow them whole. They created and danced to their own music. As much as we like to think society has evolved not much has changed it just show up differently.
For most of my life, I have danced to and have created my own music. But my transition from career woman to stay at home mom, caught me off guard. I had these small people and life partner to care for and attend. Who was I? Where am I? Is it okay if I still exist in my previous form? Oh, no I can’t. It all came to a head after a difficult second pregnancy resulting in gaining over 60 pounds at the age of 30! Who is she?
I couldn’t see myself anymore.
I said to myself,”Enough with the woe is me bit! My life does not suck and my choices rock! ” In the background, my husband did not support most of my choices or did so half-heartedly. So, I created a way to insulate myself from all the negativity and create a safe space for my light and gifts to still shine. That was the beginning of the inner transformation.
It started with a keen desire to release all of the negative baggage and grief. Once my head was in a happy space, I started researching foods to improve my mood. They happen to be the same foods to help me lose weight. I also found that exercise elevated my mood and moved as much as possible. Within six months, I had dropped 30 pounds and gained a whole new perspective on life. The rest melted away in the next few months. I am here, even better than before, because now I am wiser and have two beautiful little people. My self-nurturing journey was mine and my happy place. With every challenge it became my go to.
I generously shared my story with every mother in every mom’s group I led. After seven years of giving advice to many moms, I decided to start a blog called Living in Harmony Motherhood. Why? Because I was pregnant with our fifth child. After having a perfect system that kept me centered and the household peaceful, I was worried that I could not maintain. I had to revamp my whole system to allow for one more. That evolution gave birth to Workout Around My Day a year after welcoming our sixth child. By the way, she was born when I was 42 and now I am sharing clothes with my teenage daughter.
So what does self-nurturing have to do with weight loss? When you care for yourself like a loving mother and your best friend, you will thrive and prioritize your needs.