My marriage had a number of issues that should really should have been addressed during our dating time. But, I failed to understand Maya Angelou’s quote “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” When thinking about that quote, I thought – how much of the divorce experience can be summed up like a Maya Angelou quote? Unfortunately, nowadays, I seem to think about divorce all the time. And as much as I would love not to, it is just impossible for me to avoid as I am in the thick of it. So, I choose to accept it and share in hopes that someone else out there experiencing divorce doesn’t feel alone in their thoughts. Here are my top 10 thoughts on divorce…
- Divorce is a full time job. You don’t get paid for it. You pay for it, with money, sweat and tears.
- Divorce means losing your best friend and your way of life in the same instance. Grieving is a normal even if the person who you are separating from hurt you. You may wish for the old way of life because it was easier, not because it was good for you.
- Everyday life may be a constant reminder of something you couldn’t fix: picture frames of happy couples or families, dreams of a white picket fence around your house, etc.
- You wish they’d move on, and with the same breath you dread that moment.
- Divorce with children means co-parenting together for the rest of your life.
- Divorce means putting the courts’ calendar or your lawyers’ schedule before your own because all of the sudden, they are.
- Divorce can mean losing trust in society – in our domestic violence laws, in our legal system, and in people who you thought you knew.
- Divorce is isolating – sometimes you get 1/2 of the friends, sometimes you both lose 1/2.
- Going through divorce can feel like you are being watched all the time; being adversarial parties in court almost forces you to look for things to attack each other.
- Divorce is like an accomplishment you never wished you’d have. You would never list it on your resume, but surviving a divorce is a sign of your strength.
What are your thoughts on divorce and which thought resonates most with you?
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