I’ve been getting so many messages from people saying, “Thank you for sharing the truth of all these! I’m glad I’m not alone.” So on and so forth. And it just had me thinking, do people really think that they’re the only ones like – I don’t know – screwing things up, not being the mom that they think they should be doing, having a hard time with all of these? Do people really think that? And are people really comparing themselves to the edited versions of life that people are posting on social media?
Don’t do that. Don’t compare yourself to what you see on social media. What you are seeing on social media is the edited version of someone’s life. It’s the parts that they are allowing you to see. It’s not the full picture at all. At all! No one shows you the full picture of their life on social media. It’s just not possible to do so, don’t look at what you see someone posting and then compare your entire life to that and then wonder why you’re not living up to the same “standard” as them, right?
We see these beautiful homes and these moms doing these amazing activities and these beautiful school spaces and this and that. If you go around comparing yourself up to the highlight reel, you will forever be a failure compared to that because even the person that is posting that is not like that all the time. Guaranteed.
I really, really try hard to share a truthful image of what life is like for me. I really try hard to represent what I’m really feeling, I try not to sugar coat it, and I think it’s really important that people see that. But it’s still the edited version of my life. It’s these little, little snippets, at most, a minute or two of my day that’s a 24 hour day. I could have had a great morning and then completely fell apart at night, shut down, and ended up eating chips in my closet. It is just not feasible to look at what you see on social media and expect your life to live up to those standards at all times.
First of all, we have no idea what is going on behind the scenes of the people that we follow on social media. They could be presenting an image, a truth that they want you to believe that is not the reality for them or for all you know, maybe it is their reality but it’s on the other side of a struggle for them. Maybe they hit their ultimate low and they have done all the work to get to where they are right now and you are comparing your Chapter 2 to their Chapter 45.
Stop torturing yourself like that.
There are so many moms out there going through the same struggles, feeling the same levels of anxiety, the same levels of stress, crying in their closet just as much as you, feeling the need to escape just as much as you. There are some mamas out there who keep their houses crystal clean because that’s how they deal with their anxiety and if you’re comparing your messy house to their clean house, but you don’t have to deal with the anxiety that they have to deal with, it’s not the same. It’s not the same.
We don’t know people’s struggles. We don’t know people’s triumphs. We don’t know people’s reality. So stop going on social media and comparing yourself to what you see and expecting yourself to live up to the same standards that they are presenting because the keyword is, it’s what they’re “presenting.” It’s not the full picture of their life. It’s not the full picture of my life that you see. No one is giving you the full picture.
So don’t compare your day to day to the highlight reel that you see on social media. It’s not the same. You are where you are and there’s nothing you can do to change that and comparing it to what you see other people present about themselves is just making it hard on yourself for no reason or punishing yourself for where you are in life.
What kind of sense does that make? Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t do that to yourself. You are where you are in your stage of life. Your struggles are valid. Your feelings are valid. How you are experiencing motherhood is a valid path in your journey in motherhood. Don’t compare it to other people’s. It’s just not fair to yourself. You are where you are. Accept that and enjoy the journey or go through and do the work that you need to do so that you can get to the happy part.
Nobody’s happy 100% of the time. No one’s house is spick and span 100% of the time. No one loves being with their kids 100% of the time. No one loves being with their spouse 100% of the time. So don’t take that little snippet, that 10th of a second of a snippet of life and compare it to your 24 hour day, okay?
I just want people to know. It’s not the same. You are where you are in life. Whatever you are experiencing, you are experiencing for a reason. Treasure your own journey. Don’t compare it to other people’s highlight reels because that’s what social media is – it is the highlight reel of their life. It is not the real, everyday reality. Don’t compare.
All right, mamas. Have an amazing week and just go day by day. Don’t look at other people. Don’t do it.
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