I am Sorry...The Burden Moms Feel To Apologize

I am sorry I didn’t pick you up on time. You see, I had great intentions, but there was an accident that delayed my arrival. Just so you know, I began packing my things early so I could leave on time. When you irritably asked, “Why are you late picking me up, mommy!”, it was insensitive. I never want to pick you up late, and I tried hard to be there, but things were out of my control. When I am late picking you up, it stresses me even more because you have no idea how much I went through to get to you in that moment. I am sorry child.

I am sorry we don’t have more variety with dinner. Considering we have a rushed 3 hours together between school pick-up, meal preparation, homework and your bed time, the meals I cook are down to a scientific time. I want to make sure you have a quick, balanced meal daily. Yes, some of the chicken or potato pieces may be burned, but it would be nice if you would eat them anyway. If you don’t want them, kindly push them to the side. When you don’t eat because you are tired of eating the same thing, it really hurts my feelings. If you only knew how hard I try for you. I am sorry child.

I am sorry boss. I really wanted to be on time, but my daughter pooped as we headed out the door. As a responsible parent, I had to turn around and change her. It would be irresponsible of me to pack her in the car, fuming, and expect a daycare worker to change her upon arrival. Tomorrow, I will try to add more buffer time in my morning routine. I am sorry boss.

I am sorry again boss. My daughter had a gag reflex and vomited as I was putting her in the car this morning. Just like yesterday, I had to turn around and clean her. I am tired and sorry boss

Last time, boss I am sorry. My daughter is becoming independent. She wants to put herself in her car seat and secure her belt. Of course, it takes more time, but I enjoy seeing her develop independence. I will try to rush her next time. I am sorry boss.

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I am sorry I can’t hold your sister, cook ground turkey and discuss your science project at the same time. My day was stressful. I really need to decompress for a minute. I can’t do all of that at once. Forgive me for yelling or cutting you off, but if you could just wait a moment, I can give you some attention. I am sorry child.

I am sorry husband. I am tired and that is not on my radar tonight. Can you help me manage more responsibilities? Maybe that will help alleviate some of my stress and fatigue and give me an opportunity to focus on our intimacy. I am so sorry husband.

I am sorry that I yell so much. Your morning routine sucks. I don’t like redirecting your every task. Wash your face, brush your teeth, pick your clothes up, put lotion on. If you could just take the initiative, consistently, it would save mommy a lot of stress before the day even gets started. I am sorry child.

I know most moms, wives and professionals can relate to these statements – that burdensome attitude of being apologetic. The roles are not only dauting, but no one else seems to acknowledge its physical and emotional depletion but you. There never seems to be a moment to just exist. When those opportunities are presented it’s important to cease the moment and hold on like it may never happen again.  

Seriously, sometimes I just want some recognition for making sure we have surplus hand soap to fill all the dispensers in the bathrooms and kitchen. Simple, but true. 

Rolandria Boyce is a wife, mother, dancer, public health advocate, and tired because of the aforementioned. :) Moms rule.

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