Selfcare is pursuing your dreams and your goals because even though you have children, that doesn’t mean that your own personal dreams and goals have to stop. Once we have kids, a lot of us we put all of our stuff…our dreams, goals, wants and needs.. on the back burner. But you don’t have to, and actually, you shouldn’t. It’s important that you maintain a level of individuality.
You should still pursue your own personal dreams and goals even though you have children that refuse to let you do your work and need to be cuddled up on your lap in the middle of it. It may take you a whole lot longer and it may not go the way you always want it to go, but hey, that’s par for the course.
You just keep going. It may take you 10 times longer than you thought, but to keep ourselves happy, I truly believe that you have to follow your own dreams and goals and pursue them.
Now you’re probably thinking, “Pfft, I have like three kids, a full-time job, a house to manage…I don’t have time for this.”
Oh, but you do. You can send one email today. You can spend 10 minutes writing that book that you wanna write. You can spend 10 minutes researching the topic that you wanna write on. You can have a 10-minute conversation with someone that has maybe done it already and you can learn something from them.
It doesn’t take a huge investment of time on a day-to-day basis to pursue your dreams and goals…it just takes consistent action.
Now, something you need accept is that it is going to take more time to actually get to your goal when you are parenting kids. I heard Brené Brown speak a a conference and she said where she is today, has been a 20-year process, not an overnight success. The movie that Beyonce put out on Netflix following her Coachella performance was over a year in the making. They were in rehearsals for eight months.
And not to compare myself to Beyonce or Brené Brown but I am currently writing this one handed while I hold a wiggly 3 year old that has decided now is the perfect time to climb into mommy’s sweater and demand to be held. But hey…that’s Mom Life.
I say that to say get up and do something everyday to move you closer to your dreams and your goals. You will get there eventually.
Maybe you wanna lose weight so you work out 10 – 15 minutes a day, everyday. So you don’t lose the weight in two months, three months because you can’t put in an hour workout daily. But that weight is coming off little by little bcause you’re working towards that goal even if it’s just 15 minutes a day.
You can write that book in the mornings or after bedtime even if you can only do it for just 10 minutes a day. It makes a difference in getting closer to whatever your dreams and goals are. I created my podcast just a little bit everyday, an email to someone to ask them to be on the podcast, a phone call to convince someone to do it.
Some of you may be sitting here saying to me, “I don’t even know where to start. I have no dreams or goals.”
That’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Try something new today. Read a book about something you’re interested in. Go take a class. Go do a meetup with a group that’s trying something that you wanna try.
There are so many ways to pursue your selfcare by going after your dreams and goals. Even if you don’t have any idea what they may be right now. Do something to move yourself in that direction every single day. Every day. It could be teeny, teeny, tiny but all those little grains of sand will eventually tip the scale for you in your favor and you will start to see those dreams and those goals come to fruition.
I truly believe that as moms, we have to pursue our own dreams and goals, not just push our children or push our partners. We have to pursue things that are just for us and things that we want just for us.
So, start writing out that outline for the book you’ve been thinking about. Call that girlfriend that keeps talking about planning an event together. Go sign up for that class that you keep eyeballing or read the book that you think you might be interested in learning something new from.
Because, guess what…If you don’t start doing something, those dreams, those goals are never gonna happen.
Who cares if it takes you 10 years, 15 years, 20 years. As long as you are working towards it everyday, I guarantee you, it will bring you some level of happiness. You will have a level of self-confidence because you are doing something that belongs to just you. I promise you that.
Don’t let having kids be a block to you pursuing your dreams and your goals. You can do it. What is the thing you are going to do to start that ball rolling on whatever it is that your dream or goal is?
And if you already have one in place and you’ve been working on it, what are you gonna do everyday to move that dream or goal forward? There you have it. Self care is pursuing your own personal goals and dreams.
You’ve got this.
Elisha Beach is a stay-at-home mom to four kids and four step-kids…Yes, you read that right—eight kids. She is a wife, home cook, taxi driver, herder of children, terrible housekeeper, selfcare advocate and founder of The Mom Forum.
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