Today, I want to talk to you guys about something that, I think, often gets overlooked when it comes to self-care and that is self-care is a practice. If you are not used to prioritizing yourself and putting your needs first sometimes, it takes practice and it’s something that you have to do on a regular basis and not a random basis that I know a lot of us are guilty of.
Me! I was guilty of that and in the long run, it really did not serve me well. Those random, “Oh I have an hour before I have to pick up my kids Let me see if I can run and go get a manicure.”
“Oh, my kids are quiet. Let me read in the corner and have a cup of hot tea.”
Just the random, throw-in, “Ooh I have a little extra time. Let me try to fit in something for me.”
They’re kind of like a bandaid and they don’t really fill us up in the ways that we need to be and self care is something that we need to be regularly doing on a daily basis everyday. And therefore it is a practice. It’s something that we have to do over and over and over so that it becomes a habit like we talked about last week – it being habitual – especially if you’re not used to doing it.
In order to actually incorporate it into your life, you need to do it over and over and over and practice that habit over and over and over and over. I have been doing my self care practice for really, intentionally, I would say for the last 2 years, really. It shifts and it changes and I have to constantly look at what’s actually possible and what’s working for me and what’s not working for me. It’s never perfect. Like they say, perfect takes practice. You’re never going to have the perfect, ideal, self care situation because life, right?
But we have to constantly build that practice in order to get it to where we want and it’s going to be constantly evolving but the goal is to practice it every single day so that you’re actually growing and benefiting from it.
It’s like being a dancer. If you don’t go to the bar every single day and practice the basics, those muscles are never going to get stronger. You’re never going to improve your abilities and be able to do the really big things that take you to the next level.
Same thing for self care. If you don’t practice that daily muscle of taking some time to prioritize yourself, you’re not going to get to the point where you’re actually achieving the bigger goals that you want for yourself and you’re forever going to be putting yourself on the back burner because it just isn’t a practice for you.
So every day, no matter how you fit it in, where you fit it in, make a practice of prioritizing your self care. Every day. This goes right in line with last week’s video of being intentional and habitual. That’s how you set yourself up for the practice of that self care muscle. The practice of putting yourself first is not easy especially when you have spent the majority of your adult life maybe caring for others whether it’s your children, your family, your husband. There’s a million reasons why there are other people in front of us and we have to practice putting ourselves first.
I know I was not good at it and even when it came down to maybe I did have some free time, I would go do the laundry or go do something else that needed to be done in the house instead of taking a moment for me. In the long run, I was just resentful and not happy with what was happening for me. But as I have built that practice and purposely set intentional habits in place – little, little steps – I have then taken even bigger steps towards reaching my bigger goals of what I want for myself.
So it starts with little, practical things – drinking water, 15 minutes in the morning of reading or meditating or journaling – what is your practice going to be? What are you going to practice daily in caring for yourself? Start small. Start small and do it every single day so that you can build those self care muscles. You’re not gonna get to the bigger things like regularly going away to spend time with yourself or your girlfriend or every day implementing something to get to this really big goal that you don’t know is possible.
But if you don’t practice that setup, practice that thing that is uncomfortable for you, you’re never going to get better at it. So it’s always going to be a cycle of, “Oh I tried it. It didn’t really work. I didn’t really have the time for it.”
No. You just got to keep going. Consistent practice builds that self care muscle and that is what you have to do in order for it to become something that you do every day. Again, back to last week’s video – intentionally and habitually. Practice, practice, practice.
So how are you going to practice this week? What are you going to do to practice that self care work? The basics. Think about that dancer at the bar doing the very basics, the pliés, every day, the tendus every day.
I know some of y’all are looking at me and saying, “You’re speaking a foreign language.”
But, what are you doing every day to build that self care muscle? Little steps. Little, tiny steps. You’re drinking that water. Are you taking that time to read those books? Are you writing in that journal? Everyday practice. That’s what will help build you towards a self care routine that really supports you in your life and creates a happier, more satisfied you in life which makes you a better mom, better wife, better partner, better sister, better daughter, all of it.
So, pick that thing you’re going to practice every single day. Just a little bit of time. Are you going to drink that water? Are you going to workout for 15 minutes? What is it? I’m always repeating this but it’s the practice. The intentional practice of self care that will help you become a better you. I promise. I did it myself. I promise you that.
All right. Have a wonderful week and I will see you back here next week!