Saying no can be hard. But moms… You need to say “no” way more often than you actually do. There are so many reasons moms should say no. Especially when it comes to all extra things that people ask of you that may feel like you should be doing, but you actually do not have to do. These are the things that quickly add up and make you feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed.
All these things that you say “yes” to takes time away from you. And when you start saying “no” to these things you start to say more “yes” to you. So here are some reasons moms should say no…
When You Feel Obligated Or Guilted
As a mom, you have more than enough obligations to your family. And I am sure you already feel enough mom guilt about all the things you are not getting done. The last thing you need to do is add yet another thing to the list that piles on the guilt unnecessarily. If anyone is making you feel as if you owe them or you are obligate to participate in said activity…This is a great reason for moms to say no! Tell them to kick rocks.
You don’t need to volunteer to be on another committee. You don’t have to commit to planning a fundraiser for your child’s school. It is not a requirement that you attend your aunt’s cousin’s baby shower even if it is virtual. These are great things if you want to and have the time. But if you are doing them because you feel obligated or guilted, they will not be a worthwhile experience. You will begin to feel overwhelmed, overstretched, and not very happy. So even when you think you are supposed to, or you have to…You have the right to say “Sorry, I can’t do that. Sorry I don’t have time for that.” Or just a simple “no” will do.
You Are Being Taken Advantage Of
Do you often find yourself saying yes when people ask something of you? Does it seem like you are always the person that gets asked? People know when you are a “yes” person. And unfortunately, many people will take advantage of that quality.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s a good thing to be a giving, dependable person. However, it is important that you establish boundaries with people. Especially with those that tend to take advantage of you. If you find that you are constantly giving but not getting the same in return, you may want to reconsider. Or if you find that you are not being shown appreciation for when you show up, limit people’s access to you.
You Already Have A Full Plate
Moms are known for being pros at multitasking. It’s a power granted to you as a mom. But you don’t have to do everything for everybody all the time. You need to recognize your limits. There are only so many hours in the day to get things done. You don’t need to add something to your already overwhelming schedule especially if it doesn’t directly serve you or your family.
Just because you have the time or it seems like a simple thing to take on doesn’t mean you should add it to your plate. If what you already have on your plate has you stretched to capacity…just say no.
It is hard to say “no”. It something you have to practice on a regular basis. But I guarantee you when you start saying “no” it will get easier and easier every time. Practice your now with your friends, community and school groups, work, your spouse or partner and even your kids. And then you will have the time and space to start saying “yes” to you. Suddenly, you will find that 30 minutes a day to work out or go for a walk during your lunch break. Suddenly, you will find that one evening a month you can go and get together with your friends.
And everyone’s not gonna be happy about it. Give it a try anyway. It’s okay. It’s okay. Take a breath and do it. And momma, you don’t even need to always have a “valid” reason to say no. As they say, “No is a complete sentence.” Start saying “no” to all the things people are asking you for and start saying “yes” to you.
Elisha Beach is a stay-at-home mom to four kids and four step-kids…Yes, you read that right—eight kids. She is a wife, home cook, taxi driver, herder of children, terrible housekeeper, selfcare advocate and founder of The Mom Forum.
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