My daughter, who is super cute, almost took me out a few days ago. Here’s how she did it. She is well on her way to being fully potty trained. She has been pretty consistent with the potty at school, but treats the home toilet and stand alone potty like a deep dark abyss that she may fall in to and never return. Well, recently something changed. She has given the home toilet a chance and been amazingly consistent. She even goes in the middle of the night. Great, right?
Weeeelll, this level of potty consistency requires public bathroom use. There are several threats in public bathroom use. Particularly, the creepy, unfamiliar germs. Because she has given this venture a try, I can no longer ignore her plea to go to the bathroom when we are out and about. Understand I hate public restrooms passionately! I have even mastered the skill of holding “it” until I am in a safe place to let go. When my son was potty training, public bathroom use was easy. I would hold him like a torpedo, aim his digit, release, wash up and we were good. Buttaruma….girls are different. THEY HAVE TO SIT!!! Her legs are too short to hover. Gasp…help!
A few days ago, we were grocery shopping and my daughter uttered, “Mommy I have to pee.” My brain went numb. Did she just say what I thought she said? How was this going to happen? I think my worst nightmare was being actualized and I was not prepared. I tried to act like she didn’t say anything. She said it again, “Mommy I have to pee!” I couldn’t ignore it any longer for fear of regression or an accident. I put on my mental big girl drawls and headed to the public restroom. One of the longest walks of my life. As soon as I entered the door the germs introduced themselves one by one. “Hi, I am Sam, Lexi, Carl, Kesha and Reesie.” Sigh.
Every stall was disgusting. I chose the least disgusting one. We crammed in as I proceeded to put 83 inches of toilet paper on the seat and she touched EVERYTHING while I was preparing the seat!! I kept telling myself this is doable even though I felt like she picked up some extreme flesh-eating bacteria, amoebic dysentery or norovirus from all of her touching. I finally got the seat wrapped, sat her down and told her to potty. She looked at me with those big pretty eyes and said, “I don’t want to!” My life ended in that moment. My work and anxiety was for naught. I got her up, adjusted her clothes, we washed our hands and left. By the way, when she threw her paper towel away she touched other pieces of tissue falling out of the trash can. Triple yuck, yuck, yuck. This experience was too much.
Since this happened, my sanitizing arsenal has been developed complete with disinfectant, seats covers and a collapsible, portable potty seat. This cannot happen again. You would be pleased to know that she has not developed a fever or exhibits any signs of illness. I think we are past any egregious bacterial or viral incubation periods. Cheers to stealth immunity.
Moral of the story: There is germ safety in peeing in your diaper.
Rolandria Boyce is a wife, mother, dancer, public health advocate, and tired because of the aforementioned. 🙂 Moms rule.
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