The other day I was standing in the mirror sweating and smelling like a stinky pig. I was working hard doing bicep curls and triceps extensions, try to avoid what I like to call chalkboard arms. You know, the arms that shake and jiggle when you write on the chalkboard. Then I got inspired to lift up my shirt to see my abdominal muscles while doing crunches and other belly work. After my “grueling” workout, I went into the bathroom and stripped down to my naked glory. I looked at myself in the mirror. There staring back at me was everything perfectly imperfect, slightly saggy yet still sexy and sensual, marked and marvelous, aged, weathered, and wonderful.
At that moment, I recalled a conversation that I had with another woman.
“How is it that you birthed seven children and still have perky boobs?” she asked.
My response, “Nobody nurses seven children and has perky boobs, UNLESS…she had a remarkable boob job or has on a great bra?”
As she stood there comparing her boobs to mine she said, “Look at your boobs and look at mine, you have perkier boobs than I do.”
I said, “No, Thelma and Louise (my boobs) are high and lifted up because of a bra that is well-crafted, very expensive, and invented by a man that was obviously tired of seeing women with saggy boobs.”
Even now, I laugh at that exchange. But as I stood in the mirror looking at myself and replaying that conversation, I became very enamored and empowered by what was staring back at me. It was at that moment that I made the following decision:
- I will not compare my breasts, my stomach, my thighs, or any other part of my body to a woman whose body has not paid the price for bearing children. I mean, REALLY!!!
- I will not compare myself to anyone who has been airbrushed.
- I will not compare the cleanliness of my house to pictures in home magazines or anyone who has a cleaning service coming to their home.
- I will not be so shallow or longing of wanting someone to compare themselves to me.
The longer I stood there pondering all of the things and people that I will not compete or compare myself to, I came to the conclusion that I will not compare myself to anyone, for any reason. Period. The End!!!
Here is a reality, when you wake up and are fully aware of who you are as a woman and an individual, there is nothing to compare. When you can be captivated by yourself and by every single thing that makes you magnificent and amazing, you won’t be quick to discount, disqualify, disregard or have negative self-talk about yourself. When you can embrace yourself from head to toe, you won’t be so hasty to compare yourself to a woman or women whose story you don’t know and whose life you have not lived.
I am sharing this with you because I want you to be very clear and empowered by who you are. Sure, we all have things that we are working on, but I want you to fully embrace and fall in love with every part of yourself. I want you to appreciate and value every moment in your life that has gotten you to the place that you are today. I want you to embrace everything that makes you unique, powerful, strong, talented, creative, and feminine.
There is nothing wrong with admiring and appreciating various facets of another woman. Nevertheless, to compare yourself to her can be detrimental. Comparison causes envy, low self-esteem, hurt, anger, and list of other unhealthy emotions that lead to unhealthy behavior.
This week when you have a moment alone, especially with no little people to bust in on you and all of your naked wonder, I want you to take a good look at yourself from head to toe. While looking at yourself, I want you to say seven things that make you absolutely amazing. Why seven? I am so glad you asked. Seven is the number of completeness. And it is important for you to know that you are complete in who you are. It is crucial that you recognize and see the awe and wonder of what makes you uniquely you. Yes, there are many phenomenal women in the world. However, you need to know that there is no comparison to who you are and who you will become. You are a rare and priceless masterpiece and as Prince wrote, “Nothing compares, nothing compares to YOU.
Charlotte E. Avery is the wife of one, mom of seven, the owner of no pets, and a lover of all things Wonder Woman. She is a blogger at Being Charlotte Avery, an author, speaker, and The Family Strategist™ with a PhD. in Motherhood. Charlotte is the author of two books; No One Ever Told Me… Witty, Practical and Spiritual Truths About Motherhood and the 40-Day Tone of Voice Tone Down… Transform Your Relationships One Octave at a Time. She has been seen and heard on TV and radio and is a contributing writer for various blogs and SoCo Neighbors Magazine.